Will loves mommy!

On Saturday afternoon I got to enjoy four hours of special time with my son Will. While sister was skating with some friends and Travis was napping, Will and I had a lovely afternoon. We picked up the playroom, the kitchen, and put away the art supplies. He even pulled his "big boy" stool up to the pantry and put away the groceries for me- he did a great job if you don't count the spilled oatmeal! Then we sat down in the kitchen and made banana pudding, and went down to the basement and played the Wii. He totally beat me- FAIR AND SQUARE!!
The day was especially perfect because every once in a while, Will would look at me and say, "I love you mommy" I realized that the day was so special because he and I so rarely spend time together alone except when he has doctors appointments. Shriners, specialists, geneticist office, these are all places that he and I go every year like clockwork, but these visits aren't about spending time together, they are about medical concerns. During these visits I am usually concerned with test results, x-rays, and the next round of tests required. Not really a fun "mom-son day."
So that is why Saturday afternoon was so nice, just Will and I, no doctors, no worries about his health. He was just a little boy, a happy, healthy, snuggly, four-year old boy,who totally loves his mom.

Oh so sweet and bubbly

Will is so special and sweet, especially just after a bath when his little head smells like Ivory soap (which is his fav) and his chubby legs and bubble tush are soft and smooth. I breathe him in and watch his adorable round body wiggle around in a towel while I kiss him silly. today his little legs and arms are precious, how neatly he fits on my lap and curls up into a ball. Today his head lolls around as I kiss his neck and smell his sweetness. Oh how I love him and wish to keep him in my arms and protect him from the world. People who would not admire the beauty of his body, who would not see the miracle of a different body but a perfect soul. To keep him safe from someone who would call him names or hurt his little heart. Some girl who will laugh when he bares his deepest desires. Oh, how I wish to hold him tight and dissappear into his arms and never come out again. Two people joined as one, safe and warm and smelling like Ivory soap.

Hello World!

Will wants to know why the earth is up space. He asks this as I tuck him into bed and my quick answer is, "God put it there" Will sits up in bed, "really, then did he put the planets there too?" I laugh, "yes, hon and the planets" Then he asks if God out the stars, the moon, the sun and clouds up there. "yes, all of it, now go to bed" I shut the door and head downstairs to tell my husband about Will's latest round of questions. together we laugh, but in the back of my mind I think about the day when his questions will be hard to answer, when I won't have a quick answer, and when my answer won't be good enough. That day is coming, speeding towards me every day and often hinted at and danced around. When will my legs get long like Travis'? My guy asks me, noticing that his little brothers legs reach the end of the couch cushion, and his do not. "One day" I tell him, knowing that one day is a long way off. What will I do when he asks me why he is not tall, and why his brother is taller than him, and yet younger? Will he be happy when I tell him that God made him that way? I hope so, because I have no other answer. One day, god will have to be enough.